How I got fat!!!
October 9th 2006 05:38
"It was coming from behind me, whispers followed by laughter. Surely they weren’t laughing at me, were they? I had kept well away from scandal that year and except for my “protractor” eyes, I was sure I had no other obvious defects.
I couldn’t make out what they were saying; then suddenly it became clear, they were calling me “D.C.” What could that mean? The following days were very uncomfortable, I became increasingly paranoid, and as the joke began to spread and laughter filled the classroom, I even considered not going to school. Eventually one of the boys felt so sorry for me that he told me what it meant. Get ready for it, the moment that changed my life, the moment that shaped the next ten years. D.C. meant double chin! My life was over.
I am sure most people, have similar horror stories from their school years, and I admit that on occasion I may have been the instigator. For that I am sorry. But, until that day I was unaware I even had a weight problem and had hardly any insecurities about myself. Of course, looking back now, I realise I wasn’t overweight at all; I was just developing like a pubescent teenager should.
I sit here today wishing that I could be a size 10 again, and wondering why on earth I kept on gaining weight after that moment? Logic suggests that I would have been shocked into losing weight, and been so traumatised by the incident that I would make sure I was never a target for name calling ever again. Unfortunately, this was not the case; I initially lost a few kilos, but after high school I went down hill, big time!
The truth is, since the D.C. incident I have been burdened with the laughter and taunts of my peers and carry it around with me every day. I have had enough! I am sick and tired of feeling as though I am still being laughed at. I can’t even go out for the night without agonising over whether or not people are disgusted by me.
It ends now! I have been on many diets in my short lifetime and I continue to put the weight right back on. I have decided that I am going to make up my own diet. I basically plan to watch my food intake and increase my activity levels, I am going to change my lifestyle so that I will get to a level which I can comfortably maintain. No more of these “seven-day” diets or “counting points” diets, I have had enough. I just want to be comfortable!
I sit here tonight feeling fat and ugly. I currently weigh 94.8kgs; I am 170cms tall and 26 years old. My goal is to lose 25 kilos in six months, approximately four kilos per month (or 0.14kgs per day at 182 days, if you are as anal as me); this will definitely be a challenge but a do-able one.
I recently went to my doctor, rather than the latest Cosmopolitan magazine; I figure he probably knows more about weight loss and sustainability. First up he described me as “obese”, I was shocked, what a horrible word!!!!! To make things worse, instead of offering me the miracle pill I was hoping for, he suggested I try exercise, wow! Who would have thought?
So I have hired a cross training machine, and purchased a set of electronic scales. I have eaten all the fattening food in the house and am ready to take on the world!
I thought I would bring you along on my quest for thinness and self-discovery. I hope that by the end of this journey I will have learnt that there is more to life than shopping at 1626 and deciding which flavour milk shake to get.
I will wake up tomorrow, Saturday, please don’t start on a Monday let’s change things up a bit, I will avoid foods which I know I shouldn’t eat, exercise at least half an hour each day and drink at least one litre of water a day, the rest I will let you know as we go.
If you are game, join me. I suggest you keep a journal much like this one, who knows you may be famous one day! I also recommend that you take a before photo, make sure it is extra gross so you can put it on your fridge to remind yourself how disgusting you feel, this will also come in handy when you sell your story to “That’s Life”.
Good night, I am going to have something bad for dessert, feel sick and frumpy and then wake up a new woman, well in the mind at least…for now!
This is the last time I am going to start a diet!
Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Well that is the first chapter of my book Good Friends Bring Salad.......... I wrote it almost 3yrs ago now and am busy on my second one. This blog is going to be about my ongoing struggle with food addiction and exercise avoidance........... Welcome.............. it is sure to be a bumpy ride!!!!
I couldn’t make out what they were saying; then suddenly it became clear, they were calling me “D.C.” What could that mean? The following days were very uncomfortable, I became increasingly paranoid, and as the joke began to spread and laughter filled the classroom, I even considered not going to school. Eventually one of the boys felt so sorry for me that he told me what it meant. Get ready for it, the moment that changed my life, the moment that shaped the next ten years. D.C. meant double chin! My life was over.
I am sure most people, have similar horror stories from their school years, and I admit that on occasion I may have been the instigator. For that I am sorry. But, until that day I was unaware I even had a weight problem and had hardly any insecurities about myself. Of course, looking back now, I realise I wasn’t overweight at all; I was just developing like a pubescent teenager should.
I sit here today wishing that I could be a size 10 again, and wondering why on earth I kept on gaining weight after that moment? Logic suggests that I would have been shocked into losing weight, and been so traumatised by the incident that I would make sure I was never a target for name calling ever again. Unfortunately, this was not the case; I initially lost a few kilos, but after high school I went down hill, big time!
The truth is, since the D.C. incident I have been burdened with the laughter and taunts of my peers and carry it around with me every day. I have had enough! I am sick and tired of feeling as though I am still being laughed at. I can’t even go out for the night without agonising over whether or not people are disgusted by me.
It ends now! I have been on many diets in my short lifetime and I continue to put the weight right back on. I have decided that I am going to make up my own diet. I basically plan to watch my food intake and increase my activity levels, I am going to change my lifestyle so that I will get to a level which I can comfortably maintain. No more of these “seven-day” diets or “counting points” diets, I have had enough. I just want to be comfortable!
I sit here tonight feeling fat and ugly. I currently weigh 94.8kgs; I am 170cms tall and 26 years old. My goal is to lose 25 kilos in six months, approximately four kilos per month (or 0.14kgs per day at 182 days, if you are as anal as me); this will definitely be a challenge but a do-able one.
I recently went to my doctor, rather than the latest Cosmopolitan magazine; I figure he probably knows more about weight loss and sustainability. First up he described me as “obese”, I was shocked, what a horrible word!!!!! To make things worse, instead of offering me the miracle pill I was hoping for, he suggested I try exercise, wow! Who would have thought?
So I have hired a cross training machine, and purchased a set of electronic scales. I have eaten all the fattening food in the house and am ready to take on the world!
I thought I would bring you along on my quest for thinness and self-discovery. I hope that by the end of this journey I will have learnt that there is more to life than shopping at 1626 and deciding which flavour milk shake to get.
I will wake up tomorrow, Saturday, please don’t start on a Monday let’s change things up a bit, I will avoid foods which I know I shouldn’t eat, exercise at least half an hour each day and drink at least one litre of water a day, the rest I will let you know as we go.
If you are game, join me. I suggest you keep a journal much like this one, who knows you may be famous one day! I also recommend that you take a before photo, make sure it is extra gross so you can put it on your fridge to remind yourself how disgusting you feel, this will also come in handy when you sell your story to “That’s Life”.
Good night, I am going to have something bad for dessert, feel sick and frumpy and then wake up a new woman, well in the mind at least…for now!
This is the last time I am going to start a diet!
Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Well that is the first chapter of my book Good Friends Bring Salad.......... I wrote it almost 3yrs ago now and am busy on my second one. This blog is going to be about my ongoing struggle with food addiction and exercise avoidance........... Welcome.............. it is sure to be a bumpy ride!!!!
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Comment by Johanna
PCOS Mum
I can sympathise with your plight and I too struggle with weight issues. I am little shorter than you and weigh a bit more than you did three years ago so I'm right there with you.
I feel like I have been dieting all my life, but really only since I was about 14 or 15. That is more than half my life as I am now 31!
Comment by Ruth
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